Facebook Essays (2/3)

WHAT ARE WOMEN LOOKING FOR IN RELATIONSHIPS?


So I just got married February 14th, 2010.  I thought that I knew what women wanted in a relationship.  As it turns out, I knew what she thought she wanted in a relationship.  Let me explain the difference between what a woman wants and what a woman thinks she wants in a relationship.  Follow me.

It is a very interesting world that we live in these days.  The society that we're a part of is full of outside stimuli that guide our every thought and decision.  It's a gift and a curse for a woman because as you may or may not know, women like well designed, extravagant, expensive, cool and shiny things (e.g. the engagement ring that I gave her made her go bananas) and they also sometimes find it hard to come back down to earth once they begin to engage in these whimsical worlds revolve around the things they like (e.g. fashion and jewelry and reality tv and if I go on with this list I might not finish this question).

So when looking for a stable relationship women sometimes forget that they are actually a part of two distinct worlds.  One where reality is far far away, where things just work together, where they look 'hot' every hour of every day, where seemingly every day is their birthday and they can do no wrong.  The other world is the one that men live in where logic is king, sports is priority, and if you can't afford it then you probably shouldn't buy it.  Attempting to reconcile these two worlds day by day is what helps a relationship between a Martian and a Venusian to survive and thrive (check out Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus if you didn't get that reference).

So put simply what I thought women wanted initially were the basics: food, shelter, faithfulness, and fun.  What I've found is that women say they want these things but there are more things too. They let on that they would be truly happy if they could just get these simple things.  But I submit that that is a falsehood.  As a man, there is so much more that you must provide and if you fail to realize this then maybe you should take a twenty second timeout and think about what you're doing in your current relationship (disclaimer: if you're married you can't take that timeout, you don't have any left . . . just keep playing).

The thesis and bottom line to all of this is that women want your time and attention.  If you can't afford to give them that then the food, shelter, faithfulness and fun won't make one bit of difference.  I was very proud to provide these things and very baffled to find out that they didn't mean as much to her as I thought they would.  Venusians need lots of hugs and kisses, walks in the park and extended visits to organic grocery stores, and lastly lots of engaging and affirming conversation with eye contact included.  If you can provide this then you will be able to level up in the game of relationship, and if you can't then you'll end up starting the level over with woman after woman after woman.  So let the games begin.  God speed and good luck to my fellow men out there.

just one more part to go . . . part 3 coming right up

:)